Last week, I bought this print from the sweary, often naked, always brilliant Mr Bingo.
Wise words by the great man
A couple of years ago I was heading towards what felt like work burnout. I was overly cynical, less collaborative than usual, not able to find the joy in it.
Naturally there were lots of contributing factors, nothing particularly unusual, but as I’ve unpicked them there’s one that’s stood out. I’d lost sight of a fundamental reason I find myself in this line of work. It’s the reason I’ve been fiddling with computers since I was an awkward little pre-teen. It’s simple really - I find it fun.
I can’t put it more straightforwardly than that. Don’t ask me why specifically. There’s something innately satisfying about making things; the learning, designing, building, fiddling.
A friend once told me to be aware of who around you are energy drainers and who are energy givers. Not so you can avoid one and only seek the other, but so you can intentionally balance the two. I guess this is also true for our day-to-day tasks. I hadn’t realised how in short supply I was of the energy givers; the parts that felt creative, inspiring and motivating. And how much I was relying on work to provide them for me.
It’s so easy to get caught up in capitalism mode, thinking only about measurable impact, strategic clarity, OKRs, stakeholder management. All these things I enjoy given the right balance, and they have their place, but they’re not the reason I got into this gig. They’re certainly not my energy givers.
It’s equally easy to look to work to provide the balance you need. Especially when, like me, you’re lucky enough for work to frequently overlap with your hobby, it can be tempting to assume it always will. When it doesn’t, you can lose agency over those energy givers.
So over the last couple of years I’ve been trying to be particularly mindful of what situations bring me energy, then prioritising them and gradually reclaiming them.
Ideally you’d find them in paid work, and having re-joined the world of freelance I’ve been able to work on various projects that are definitely net-positive on the energy scale. But now, unlike a couple of years ago, I’m also less reliant on paid work having to provide all the creativity I need. By reigniting some ‘work-adjacent’ projects in my spare time I’ve regained control over my energy givers.
Importantly, these personal projects are outside of capitalism mode. They’re not practical, productive or economical. They’re not leading anywhere in particular. They have no path to monetisation. They carry no expectation, no weight that they should somehow save the world. Their value is in themselves. First and foremost they contribute to and sustain my joy - anything more is a welcome bonus.
Even though, like you, I’ve known this forever, I’ve been surprised at how radical it feels to actually do. Our societal belief that value and worth only equate to practicality and profit runs deep. To know it theoretically is totally different to living it.
Actually, this blog is a prime example. It’s lovely when people read it (Hi Mum, Hi Jon), but it would still exist if it were just me. If someone blogs in the woods but there’s no-one there to read it… yes, it does still get blogged.
That brings us to my other latest purchase… a Raspberry Pi - the ultimate personal project tinkering machine.
I’ve a bunch of ideas for things to make, mainly revolving around physicalising more of my digital experiences, bridging the gap between real me and online me. Most of them are pointless other than they’re fun, which is in itself the point.
It’s early days. So far I’ve chosen a pretty case and got SSH working. When I connect to the Pi, this is the welcome message that greets me.
ASCII art yay
Honestly, it feels kind of embarrassing to say “hey, I remembered I should have fun”, and there’s so much more that smart people have already said about the profound effect of capitalism’s insatiable need for productivity on our collective and individual psyche, but there you go.
Have fun; easy to say, even easier to forget.